Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Well that didn't go as planned...

"She's just......Type A".  I've heard that more times than I can count.  I am the champion of rules and order (although I don't like rules if I wasn't the one who made them).  You would think by now I would've learned that everything doesn't go according to my plans, but I'm still has strong willed as ever.

Lists are a huge part of my life!  Everything has to be on a list and if something isn't on the list it's obviously not worth doing.  So last Thursday I made my weekend list.  I'm just positive that my family was as excited about seeing the weekend to do list and I was about making it ;)  I had pretty much every waking moment planned out so what could go wrong?

As I handed out my printed to do list and posted an extra copy on the fridge incase anyone forgot where they put theirs, my youngest, Hannah, decided to inform me that I had forgotten that she was having a garage sale at her grandma's the next day followed by babysitting.  I had forgotten so that left Kevin and I to get our lists done as well as hers for Saturday.  I had it all figured out in my head and nothing was going to stop me from getting all this stuff done.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans.  Oops I had forgotten that "little" detail. 

As Saturday morning came, I was ready to send Kevin out to mow while I pulled weeds.  Somehow in all the preparing for this task we didn't notice the underground sprinklers had been on.  Well, that's ok we could just move our schedule around and mow after the grass dried.  Everything we tried to do was impossible for one reason or another.  I decided that instead of trying to force it to work, we would go to the local craft show followed by the greenhouse.  I had been to our local greenhouses the weekend before, but nothing compares to the greenhouse that is across the state line about 30 miles from us.  We stopped by the craft show (which wasn't too interesting this year) and headed to grandma's house as the garage sale was almost over now and we could go to the greenhouse from there.  We stopped by and got Hannah and her boyfriend and off we went. 


Going to the greenhouse was always something I took my mom and Hannah along with me because we all enjoyed it so much.  This year I took Kevin, Hannah, and Hannah's boyfriend.  Yike!  No one warned me it could be a huge mistake!  I was run over with the flower wagon more times than I can count, lost everyone while they played hide-n-seek in the different sections of the greenhouse, got the male perspective on what each flower looked like or stood for, and heard Hannah from a distance explaining to her boyfriend "we don't need to plant any melons because I already have 2 perfect right here (as she was pointing to her chest)."  I don't think this is the relaxing trip to the greenhouse I had envisioned!

Once we got home, I planned on making up lost time by planting into the night.  Once again, I forgot that I really don't make the plans.  As I was getting everything together to plant, Kevin called for me to go look at the cloud that was trying to form into a tornado.  Oh well, I can still plant during a tornado, right?  The answer to that is NO!   It's a definate NO if hail accompies it like it did last Saturday night.
I guess this is just one more lesson I'm still learning about what I can and can't control.  I often wonder what it'll take to make me understand, but until then, it'll make for some pretty interesting stories.  We did end up getting to spend extra family time together which is really the important part.  I guess you can say my weekend didn't go as planned, but that's ok!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Starting Over :)

I can't believe it's been 2 years since I've posted anything, but there has been a lot of healing and relearning life in that time.  I also had no idea how much time I would lose when I underwent chemo, and now that I am a month off all of the "feel good" medicines, I realize that the past 3 years have pretty much been a blur. I'm pretty sure that my life will never be the same, and in many respects, I'm very thankful for that!

Since last time I was on here, my oldest graduated high school.  I'm not sure where the time went or how I managed to get such an amazing kid, but she's truly a blessing.  Morg graduated in May 2013 and then went off to live 8 hours away from me (insert sigh here).  She just finished her first year of college and is surrounded by family so it's not as horrible as it could be.  It has been a year of trial and error with her.  I think she has majored in everything under the sun, but we are back to a business major (which is where we started).  I know that whatever she choses to do in life, she'll make a huge impact on those around her! 

The baby of the family, Hannah, just finished her sophmore year.  I really don't wish any parent to have to experience the year that we've had with her.  Honestly, most of the problems were not created by her, but it was constantly one issue after another. I'm praying the next two years will be better, but I'm not holding my breath. She started summer volleyball league today and it was nice to see such growth in her skills especially since I've had the blurry time in there. She will also be a cheerleader for her school for her junior year (we'll see how that pans out). She will keeps us smiling and laughing no matter what she does since she inherited her mom's bluntness and dad's odd sense of humor. 

During this whole experience there is one thing that has never changed...the love and support from my family. I would be lost without them especially from my husband. He has been my cheerleader, nurse, psychologist, cook, driver, voice of reason, and shoulder to cry on. I'm sure being married to an adult who acts like a 3 year old with uncontrollable temper tantrums wasn't always the easiest but he has done an amazing job helping me get through whatever irrational fit I was having and not holding it against me in the future (something I'm not sure I could've done if roles were reversed). 

So now the hard part...starting over. I have to learn to eat healthier/cleaner, take time for exercise, enjoy all the little moments with family and friends, learn to accept that I'm NOT in control of everything and if things don't go as's OK! I know this won't all happen overnight but I think this journey will be worth it. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me, prayed for me, thought of me, and shared my story to create awareness of colon cancer in young people. I did undergo genetic testing and it has been ruled out. I just call it "God's timeout for me."  I'm excited to start this next chapter of my life and sharing it with you as I go. I'm sure it'll be another crazy ride so buckle up and hang on cause it's time for a new beginning in this beautiful
thing called life. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

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Round 10!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Almost Double Digits!!! :)

Well, this journey has become harder as I get closer to the end.  With each round, I have found myself more confident that I will die of chemotherapy (not of cancer).  For the past 2 days I have been finally feeling slightly human again, but tomorrow it's time to go again.  On the positive side, tomorrow is FINALLY round 10!!!!  That's right I will be in the double digits!!! That also means that my last round of chemo is 28 days from tomorrow!!!  I think I might just see the light at the end of the tunnel :)

Tomorrow should be an interesting round :)  Both of my daughters get to go with us.  Morgan, my 17 year old, was able to go one other time, but she is also the kid that can sit for hours and read or play on the internet.  Hannah, my 14 year old, hasn't been able to go but she has googled the location of all her favorite stores and Starbucks so she is ready to go along. This could be quite the adventure for all of us :)

I'm praying these last 3 rounds go better.  I am still working 32 - 35 hours per week, attending all the girls' activities, and still trying to get my house decorated (since we have been here a full year already).  We did get Hannah's room redecorated and when we get Morgan's done, I'll post pictures.  Everything is going a little slower than usual, but Kevin has been great at helping out :) 

I think it's time to get packed and to bed.  4 am comes way too quick for me!  Please keep me in your prayers.  I believe it's the only thing that has kept me going and the smile on my face for the past 9 rounds.  As I get better, hopefully I'll be better about posting :) 

Wednesday, January 4, 2012